ELMYRA
At heart, Elmyra is a sweet little girl. She has a deep
love for animals, but generally cuddles and loves them to
death. Literally. She leaves a trail of destruction wherever
she goes. Elmyra means well, but she is oblivious to the
trouble she causes. Anyone who allows her to help them
is courting sure disaster. Elmyra herself never gets harmed
by her ineptness, but it boomerangs back on whoever's unlucky
enough to be near her.
She has rare moments when she's semi-aware that things haven't
gone as she'd planned; usually when a pet runs away from
her or someone shouts at her for messing something up. Then
Elmyra bursts into heartbreaking sobs.
Elmyra lives in a nice, suburban home. The place is fairly
average except for the piles of discarded pet toys littering the
yard and the seven or eight abandoned doghouses and kitty baskets.
Elmyra's pets are constantly escaping in terror.
Elmyra has a big crush on Montana Max. She's sure that
Monty calls her a "bug-faced little dweeb" because he's too
shy to admit his real feelings for her. No matter how many
times her 'Monty-Wanty' pushes her away, Elmyra remains
convinced that he feels nothing but undying love for her.
Elmyra thinks of all the animal characters as cute, cuddly
things for her to love... Except for Hamton, who she thinks
is a dirty piggie-wiggie in need of a good bath.
Elmyra thinks life is 'cute', and she has 'cutesy' names
for everything. Rabbits are "hippity-hops," Plucky is "Mr.
Quack Quack"... et cetera. She is sweetness to the point of
dementia.
QUOTABLES:
"I love you to pieces!"
"That's ginger-peach-a-roon-a-reachie-keen!"
"I only wanted to help!"
"Bunnies! I love bunnies!"
"I loose more pets that way!"
AUDITION COPY
ELMYRA:
(singing)
Oh where oh where have my animals gone,
Oh where oh where can they be?
(speaking to audience)
Oh, hello, I'm Elmyra, and I'm
searching for a furry little pet
to cuddle and squeeze and hug
and kiss and love to peices!
(she sees Buster Bunny)
Oooooh, a bunny! I really
loooove bunnies. They're so
cute! I'm gonna take you home
and make you my very favorite
little hippity hop.
(yelling after escaped
rabbit)
Hey, come back, bunny!
(crying)
Waaaaaaah! Bunny went bye-bye!
Waaaaaaah!
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AscII.
Do-It-Yourself.
Jamie Wilmoth
Jamie@Angel-Hare.com
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